Tuesday, December 23, 2008


honesty, for me, is very important, especially among friends.. it's the reason why i trust..i don't easily open my heart to anybody, you know.. i just don't tell anybody my innermost thoughts and feelings  (yup! there's more to what i've written in here! scary, huh? Ü) - so yeah, obviously when i do, it means that i trust that person..
you see, i've opened my heart to this person, only to discover that all he's been telling and showing me are lies. Pretty bull, huh? I thought he's nice.. i even brag about him being nice! Turns out he's just one of those two-faced jerks! I feel so betrayed, it hurts.. 
so enough of those flattery shit. i don't need it. i don't need you. I DON'T TRUST YOU.
God, this is the worst feeling in the world! HAH! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Friday, December 19, 2008

After A Great Pain.. WHat's Next?

the weather's gloomy this morning, i decided to go out wearing my brightest green mini dress, my fire red havs, and its matching red watch.. i needed to go out..
so they say that after a BIG heartache you become stronger - you feel like you can bear whatever heartache you'll go through in the future.. hmmm... maybe not in my case.. maybe my first real heartache (JANUARY 23/24, 2007 - the day i cried 24 hrs straight! no joke, no exaj!) made me fear love.. maybe.. my friend told me so, which really got me into thinking the whole day - which sucks coz i've work tonight!
well, you know, the only thing that im sure of right now (aside from realizing that my ex-bf's a jackass and is soooo not worth my time!) is that i've become wiser and honestly, i think im stronger now.. i don't know if what happened then made me afraid though.. maybe..
oh, and about that heartache, well, i thought that he had another woman while we're still together.. 1 year after i broke up with him, his cousin told me that I WAS ACTUALLY THE OTHER WOMAN - i had no clue at all! turns out someone else suffered more pain that i had suffered - maybe that woman hated me.. that bastard! now, we're cool - we're friends, kind of.. i wish him well.. i laugh about it now - well, even then - after i cried! hahaha!
btw, he's that person i wrote my poem "Second Time Around" for.. gosh!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Second Time Around

It seemed like I've waited forever
For the right guy to come my way
Whoever said that life is fair
I've looked for him everywhere

And then you came
Without me expecting it
I couldn't believe it's your voice that i hear
Gosh! It's been what, 4 years?!

Now we're older
Now we're mature
We both know how we feel
I can't believe it's real

Then there's 'us'
Then there's this love that we, again, found
I couldn't believe but I truly feel
That, indeed, love is sweeter the second time around..

written: JANUARY 2007