Sunday, May 27, 2012

Conversation With My Mother

So, I talked to my mother today, just like always. We used to talk about happenings in my hometown and my life being their "gastador" and "laagan" daughter but since my Father's murder, I try to get her to talk about it and how she feels. She always tells me that my Father is funny, it's hard not to miss him. But that's just it, she never elaborated, until earlier.

It took her months before she's able to sleep in their room. Actually, until now, she still doesn't sleep there everyday. She said it's the hardest she'll have to go through.They have been together for 38 years and were never apart, they literally spent almost every second of their lives together.  They worked together (family business), ate most (if not all) of their meals together, and slept beside each other. And then just in a snap, the love of her life was taken away from her. She said it's beyond pain and until now, she's still can't let go of her fury. She's mad at the people who did this. She's mad at life. And then she asked me, "kanus-a pa kaha ko ani malipay nang no?"

And then tears just fell from my eyes. I cried not only because she's my mother and she's in pain, but most especially because she's a woman who misses the love of her life, the first and the last person she talks to everyday for years. It must be very hard for her, and we, her children, can't do anything about it.

Friday, May 25, 2012

If It's Not Meant To Be, It's Really Not!

I learn this the hard way! years ago i loved someone and although i've felt signs that we're not meant to be, i forced it and kept on loving him.. God probably had tried everything to let me know not to - i mean, i often dream of myself being hurt by this guy and I'd cry a lot when i woke up because of pity for myself. it's like watching myself in a movie! But I didn't listen. And I wasted all my time! I just realize now because he just got married and I am in love with someone. And with this guy right now, it's like God's just giving everything to me. It's crazy! I am so happy right now..

Monday, May 21, 2012


Two hours ago I said "yes" to a guy I honestly don't know at all. I mean, I know his name and where he's from and his family (or his sister at least), but I don't know him know him, you know? Well, he's my crush before and apparently I was also his but we were so young then. He was my neighbor in the province and briefly my schoolmate. The fact is, I haven't even seen him for the past 10+ years! as in! i mean, i know that this is probably the craziest decision i'll ever make in my whole life but it's fun and well, yeah, that's about it.. IT'S JUST FUN. but im excited.. who knows? I never thought id take this much risk for my 8th relationship.. and right now im vulnerable (after the murder of my Father).. i mean, i don't think at all and i guess that's why it's fun because i didn't have to think. I just said "yes" and that's it! no, actually, I said "let's do this!" hahaha! it's crazy! THIS IS SUPER CRAZY!

btw, the former love-of-my-life just got married last weekend.. im happy for him..

Friday, May 18, 2012

Skywalking And Edge-Coastering

last night I and my friends Dok, Ting and her bf Don, went to try skywalking and the edge coaster at Crown Regency Hotel! Dok actually cried, she had raccoon eyes because of her not-waterproof mascara! hahaha! she's going to leave for Dubai tonight and im really going to miss her!
anyway, it was super fun! im not afraid of heights and i love adventure so i had the best time! here's our pic!