♥♥♥ my boyfriend is the most honest man on earth ♥♥♥
that's why i love him so much.. and he still might not tell me that he loves me but it only shows that he is honest, and all the things he said and did before were true.. and i will hold on to those coz i know we will get there! and i will be better this time - no more negative vibes! PROMISE!!!
we're on our 3rd month and counting!
*no, he doesn't know anything about this blog that's why i can freely say what i want to say here.. hehe..*
Right now, im still trying to win the heart of my love back. and although there had been positive changes but still, it's not like before.. his love for me is not back to being 120% (that's what he told me and honestly, it's true - i felt it) - and that's what im aiming for, that's what's keeping me from pulling away - which what i would've done had i not love him so much.. and because I don't know what to do anymore, to the point that i am beginning to feel very disappointed already, of myself and of him, i decided to SEEK help from the zodiac.
I googled the characteristic of a CANCER man.. and i've read a lot of articles and the bottomline is really just to shower him with so much love and to let him feel and know that HE IS THE ONLY ONE. apparently, Cancer guys are big on emotional security and what not. and that's what I will do..
Well, I didn't really get my wish (refer to my previous 2 blogs) but let's just say, we're ok. We can make it! hehe.. Plus there are these people who loves me so much -family and friends! im overwhelmed! Thank you Lord! I AM HAPPY! hehe..
*WE HAD BEER FOR BREAKFAST (UNTIL NOON)! WE WERE SO DRUNK THAT JULIE AND SLY WERE LATE FOR WORK TONIGHT*
"i don't know ther.. i know im a very blessed person (obviously).. but i realize that no matter how many blessings you have, if that one particular blessing you really want to have isn't yours, then the others are just like nothing.. and then there's my father who's always been the very first person to greet me sa akong birthday.. oh i miss him so much.. haaayy.. gosh i soooo want to cry! life is hard! or probably this is just the AGE talking.. hehe.."
Yes, I just quoted myself. I was emailing one of my closest and truest friends Therese.So, drumrolls please..I AM NOT HAPPY. I feel young, I think I look fab, but I am not happy.
Love sucks. If I had not fallen in love, I wouldn't be sad today. Yes, the person I love doesn't love me anymore and he doesn't even care. I don't think he even remembers my birthday. And it hurts, BIG TIME! How could one person ruin everything? Why am I forgetting all these great things in my life because he's treating me bad? I know it's my fault and I'm suppose to learn to be patient (it's suppose to be what I should learn from this situation, my friends told me) but how long will I suffer? How long 'til he loves me again?
My only wish, is for him to love me, like the way he used to.. But it's not happening.. Not today, Aug 10, 2012.. Maybe not ever.. Oh that'd be sad..
--(written straight from my desk at work)-- MY COLLEAGUES JUST SANG A BIRTHDAY SONG FOR ME! awww... thanks guys!
Yes, I'm smiling that silly smile when one's in love.. what? I AM IN LOVE! but the person I love kind of doesn't love me back still (and it's my fault). Well, im not going to talk about it coz it'll just make me sad and I want to savor this kilig feeling for the rest of my day!
I would like to quote part of Alex' letter to Rosie: "He is the luckiest man in the world to have you, Rosie, but he doesn’t deserve you and youdeserve far better. You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with, and if you’re OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams andwho can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect,love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy. Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago instead of becoming scared and being too afraid to try."
It's natural for me to wish to have my own Alex Stewart, just like I wished I had my own Edward Cullen (NOT NECESSARILY A VAMPIRE). I guess what women want is a man who's going to be there for her no matter what and in whatever situation - happy or sad.. someone whom she can talk about everything (silly and serious things) with.. and someone who will feel her/for her.. In other words, all of the things Alex mentioned! No, actually i'm just speaking for myself! ha-ha! so between Edward and ALex, I'd opt for the latter - if it's not to much to ask but apparently it is.. i mean, given that im already turning 29 and still "single".. oh well..