Stay-At-Home

How's your weekend guys?

Well, here's how I spent mine - BABYSITTING! I was sheduled to go to the beach but I guess family trumps luau.. Hehe.. I will just let the pictures do the talking:

Take Home For Weekend

For the 100 millionth time, I read Rosie Dunne (or Love, Rosie) again. And it still amazes me how it never fails to make me feel good, and well, in love. I have always dreamt of having my own Alex Stewart. I hope the world won't run out of them but that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, one of the most unforgettable lines in the book (aside from Alex' stolen letter to Rosie), is this:
"You can run and run as fast and as far as you like but the truth is, wherever you run, there you are."

The truth in life is, REALITY REALLY BITES. But at the same time, it makes you stronger and move on. There's really no point in running away, except when you do it as physical activity! Ha-ha! Kidding aside, I would rather face reality than the unknown.

The past week has been super busy for me - family life. My niece, whom I super duper love, is here in the country!!! Which means that I only have 3-4 hours of sleep everyday! I would very much rather play with her than do really unimportant stuff, like sleeping! Here's a pic of us together:

Man has she grown! She's really like a real person now with her little legs and little hands. I mean, of course she is but you know what I mean.. Ü.. She even talks now and she's so smart! I have never been so amazed at God's awesomeness!

I really hope you guys are having fun coz I am! I am in love once again with pretty little Isla! I am on my way home now and I'm so excited to see her again! Oh and I just had a 12-hr shift so that too!

Take care you guys! xxx 

What Do They Really think?

Do you guys ever wonder what people think of you?

I realize that one form of injustice is when people think negatively of you without even knowing you and what you actually think. And why do they care? And if they care so much, why do they settle on theories instead of facts?

I just don't understand, and you know, I'm not even going to try coz there's absolutely no point. It's just frustrating. I mean, what could be more unjust than that? But just like a lot of things in this world, it's beyond our control, we can't stop it. So in the end, it's best to just ignore it.

I am one of those who don't care about what other people think about me. I am a free spirit and I believe that I can do whatever I want as long as I'm not hurting other people or the environment. But, what do other people really think about me? Hmmm... Bite me!

Happy weekend! xxx
 

I Have You

So I was reminded that I actually used to write poems. I haven't since this poem below. The poet in me has gone awry. And I wasn't even great! Ha-ha!
Written: September 21, 2007 - 12:02 pm

My heater's now working, my closet door's closed
The ceiling dust's gone and you fixed my windows
I look at the floor, it is shiny
I see beautiful things, now that you're here with me

Those "hi's and hellos" I used to ignore
I smile at them  since you walked to my door
And that rug that's hanging on my terrace
It has a little red flower embroidery, I just notice

My jeans are there, neatly pressed
That shoes i just bought, matches my dress
I turn around I see my colorful belts
Then I look at the mirror, I see my beautiful self

And in my messy bed, there you lie in silence
With my colorful pillows and blanket
All things are bright and beautiful, you see
 But you're the most beautiful for me.. 

A Question

What am I doing? Seriously, WHAT AM I DOING?

You guys have no idea how confuse I am right now, I haven't even slept! I have been losing sleep. Did I make the biggest mistake of my life years ago? Or is this just some kind of a post break-up shit? Whatever the answer is, I sure am not getting it now. Oh God..

Saturday night, my bestfriend from college, Karryl, and I drove to Naga, which is like 30 mins from the city - in a motorcycle! It was so cool! We talked until around 4 am and drove our way back. Food, of course is from 7/11!

For the first time, I actually cried while telling my break-up story. I guess it has something to do with the ambiance - we were at the park, by the sea. Or maybe it's because I know Karryl will not judge me no matter what. It was very nice.

One of the best things that came out of that break-up is I get rekindle friendships. I almost forgot how close we were! Karryl reminded me of who I was. I realize I actually miss the crazy, childish me! The side of me I've been trying to change for the man I loved because he didn't appreciate it and he couldn't understand. You just can't imagine how hard it was to keep up! Yeah, I guess there'd be someone out there who can appreciate me for being me. Someone who wouldn't pre-judge me. Someone who would understand. But not now, I am not ready yet. Maybe not in a while.. :)

Anyway, here are pics from last weekend:
1. My future might be in this place.
2. Saturday's lunch by Brown Cup.
3. Coffee take-out from 7/11. To Naga!
4. Cakes & tea - perfection! At The Pantry. Last night.
5. Because there's a lot of FB updates! Haha
6. Karaoke time. I love the flavored beer! A bottle is enough though. Not so into drinking lately.

So, Saturday!

"A woman can't have too many shoes, clothes, and most importantly, girlfriends."

It's true.

It's about 7:30 am and I just got home. Like, literally. I just shoved my havies somewhere and laid in bed. Wow! What a night. I was with my girlfriends Reina and Ate Dee (who'll just be in the country for 2 weeks). We just laughed the whole night. There's no booze, no ex-boyfriend bashing (not that it's needed), no negative thoughts whatsoever. It was just pure, not-so innocent (if you know what I mean.. Ha-ha!), estrogen-overload laughtrip! Three establishments closed out on us, until we settled at 7/11, which is open
24 hours.

Here are pics from that crazy night!

First stop: Starbucks. That other lady in the pic is Ate Deedee and Reina's friend from Singapore. I forgot her name.. Sorry!

Second Stop: Dolce. It's a tea/cakes/pastry shop located at Lahug, Cebu. This is a table inside but later, we settled outside where there's an overlooking view of the city. It was breathtaking. The couches were super comfy, it's like we're in our own living room.

At IRIE, IT Park Cabu. Customer service is superb! CR lighting is awesome!

I swear this is the best Nachos I've ever tasted. It's coz of the jalapeños. It's just Php250 and it's HUGE!

Thank you guys for reading my "Post Break-up" blog drama! My readership reached a significant number because of those entries. Now you know how drama I can get, which is kinda embarrassing! Ha-ha! But that would be the last of it. There's no looking back. I am moving on. :)
xxx

Post Break-Up Day 4

I slept at 6am.
I woke up at 3pm.
I braved myself to face the day alone, see how much I can handle.

I ate.
I watched House, MD.
I didn't have internet connection.
I didn't talk to anyone.
I. DID. NOT. CRY.

I'm excited for tomorrow.

I AM OK.  Ü

Post Break-Up Day 3

I woke up at around 12 NN, which is great. Still, there were thoughts of him. Still, my heart beat fast. But I didn't cry. I smiled, turned on the lights, and watched House, MD. I knew it's going to be a better day.

At 3 pm I texted Therese. I was looking forward to being with someone but she had exams. I cried again. But not a lot this time because I texted Jong (my close friend from college) and he agreed to have coffee with me.

The place we went to is super quaint. Here's a pic:

Jong and I talked until about 8pm. I went to their apartment. I ate "binignit". I told Jong everything. He said I did the right thing. I felt good. We have the same opinion on how relationships should be. Maybe because we're both leos. Ha-ha!

The Ex messaged, asked how I was doing, offered friendship. I'm happy he wants us to be friends, really. But if he's doing it just to make me feel better after the break-up, (or worse, make himself feel better) then, no thanks. He doesn't need to do it. I will be ok, maybe not very soon, but for sure I will be ok.

I've always wondered why I only cry when I'm alone and not when I tell my friends what happened. I kind of imagined myself being in a cafe, crying on my friend's shoulder or pulling tissue after tissue because my tears won't stop, but it didn't happen. I just couldn't cry when I tell my friends how I feel. I got the answer from my TL, Borgy. He told me something that I couldn't forget.

He said, it's because I knew that this was going to happen and that I have accepted it and that I don't hope that my ex and I will get back together.
It's true.
He also said that I got tired  because I love myself more than I love my Ex-bf. I have self respect and I wouldn't want to be taken for granted.
It's true.
Lastly, he also told me that actually, I'm not hurt. I am just lonely because I'm used to not being "alone".
It is probably true.

Here's what I wore today:

Post Break-Up - Day 2

I went home from work at around the same time - 4:30 am. I slept. I woke up with thoughts of him. My heart beat so fast it almost felt like the blood's coming out. I cried.

From around 9 am, when I woke up, until around 3pm, that's been my day's cycle, I cried, and I cried, and I cried. I didn't get out of bed. I didn't turn the lights on. I didn't eat. I didn't watch TV. The plan was to start cleaning my room, do some laundry, plan outfits. But no, it didn't happen. I was wallowing still. I was in pain. Maybe tomorrow.

I chatted with Karryl on FB. She's one of my closest friends on earth and her relationship also just ended. We have the same reason. We planned our weekend getaway. We're going to do more wallowing somewhere silent, cool, and with water. We decided we'll go to Olango Island. I got excited and forgot about my broken heart for a little while.

I also chatted with my good friend Era on FB. Her family's one of the best I know. I miss her.
My bud from College, Rito Enopia, died. I was sad. He's a great guy - one of them few. I swear I can still hear his voice! Again, learning that life is really so short, I decided to email Baboy. I mean, I know that we're broken up and all and that it's really over but I just want to tell him everything that I feel. The email's like the last of the last goodbye. I told him not to reply anymore because I couldn't get over him if he will. Just like love, hope is pain.

At around 3 pm my landlady called me. I went to her house and we talked. I told her I was in pain. I asked her, will I ever get over this? She said she's sure I will. She also separated ways with her husband of 20+ years. She told me if she can do it, I can too. She advised me to go out often. She let me use her phone to call any of my friends. I called Therese.

Therese and I talked, mostly about her life. It was refreshing, hearing other people's sad story. Lately I've been used to telling mine. Of course, she gave me her POV about my recent break-up. She said that it was the best for both of us - We need time apart. I agree.

I went home at around 7 pm. I had dinner. I went to the office. Here's my outfit.

Baboy wasn't online.

Post Break-up Day 1

I went home from the office at around 4:30 AM. I told my officemates about the break-up. And it all made sense while I was telling them. It's true I was tired. It's true that I can't live one more day of all our relationship crap. It's true that no matter what I did yesterday (reminisce all our good times and more) nothing could ever stop me from "suggesting" the break-up. Everything's just not worthy anymore.

Today is another story. I miss him. I miss messaging him. I miss telling him stories abotu my day. At one point I grabbed my phone and attempted to message him on Viber but I chickened out. He needs time alone. He said he needs to find himself.

There's no going back, we're really broken up. But I was happy when I saw that he hasn't deleted our pics in his FB account. I hope that when he finds himself, he will find me.

I was bored. There's weird silence. My heart was beating fast. I talked to my landlady and to her househelp. It's true, misery loves company.

I am miserable.
But I can't cry.
I know it's the best for us.

I went to light some candles at Carmelites church.
I cried in the jeepney.
I love him.

My outfit:

Liebster Award

OMG. I've recently been nominated for a Liebster award. I want to thank Joan K. for nominating my blog! She's one of the best dressers in WIWT.

Here are the Liebster Blog Award rules:
1. Share 11 things about yourself.
2. Answer the 11 question that your tagger has given you.
3. Choose 11 fellow blogs to nominate. The nominees must have under 200 Google Friend Connect followers and be told in a comment on their blog.
4. Think of 11 questions to ask the bloggers you have nominated.
5. Thank the person that nominated you and link back to their blog.

Here are 11 things you don't know about me:
I am huge HANSON fan.
My favorite subject is Math and I am good at it.
I am almost (really almost) like Rebecca Bloomwood of the Shopaholic Series by Sophie Kinsella.
My motto's always been: Nothing's impossible with God.
I will be turning 30 this year.
I am just 4'11 which is why I love high heels.
I enrolled for MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) classes and I sucked at it.
I want to be Miss Universe.
I am a Papa's girl.
I write poems.
I love music and I'd like to think I am naturally good at it.


Here are Joan K's questions:
1. Who/what is your fashion inspiration?
Carrie Bradshaw. She doesn't put limit to herself when it comes to fashion.
2. What's your dream job?
A career in music would really be a dream-come-true. I also want to be a stylist.
3. What do you enjoy the most about blogging?
I can express myself. I can let other people know about my thoughts. Maybe they'll learn a thing or two from me.
4. 5 things you couldn't live without?
Phone, Red Lipstick, Pajamas, Baby Powder, and Toothbrush
5. Favorite brands/stores?
Topshop, Forever 21, Janilyn (local shoe store here in the Philippines), Forever 21, Vesper
6. What is your favorite snack?
Cakes and donuts with coffee.
7. Best purchase you've ever made?
My phone
8. Favorite piece of clothing?
I love leggings and lightweight pants.
9. Describe yourself in 3 words.
clumsy, crazy, cool
10. Books or movies?
movies
11. Favorite song at the moment?
When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne

Here are my nominations:
Chiconomical/quirkyengineer.blogspot.com/
Amy's Antics/amymika.blogspot.com
Mission Style/missionstyleuk.blogspot.com
Style and Substance/styleandsubstanceuk.blogspot.com/
HoneyBelle/honeybelleworld.blogspot.com
Cali Jae Beauty/www.calijae.blogspot.com
Just Another Fashion Blog/http://justanotherfashblog.blogspot.com/

Here are my questions:
1. What's your favorite subject in school?
2. What's your type of music?
3. Which era of style do you like?
4. Which Sex And The City character do you like?
5. Who's your style icon?
6. What would you be if you're a color?
7. LBD or LWD?
8. As far as high heels go, how high is yours?
9. What's your favorite part of your body?.
10. Who is your celeb crush?
11. Best break-up song?

Unbreak My Heart

..because it's broken..

I'm sad and I will cry later or the next day. I don't know. Can you believe I haven't? But I will be ok. Ako pa? As they say, "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". It was worth my time because I learned a lot.

I wish my ex-boyfriend well.

So, thoughts.. Probably God gave us to each other to prepare us for someone else. The relationship made me realize a lot of things, one of them's 'love is not enough'. We loved each other but we don't get each other most of the time, unknowingly causing each other pain. I honestly saw this coming. I'm really disappointed of how wrongly we interpret each other's gestures. Our differences really got in the way so the break-up was really for the best. It just gets tiring after a certain time. Needless to say, I don't believe in "opposites attract" anymore! I realize now that all I need is someone who will really know and understand me, because I am not a bad person.

So, gogogo! On to life!

*I'm accepting "broken-hearted" gifts! CALLING FAMILY AND FRIENDS! Ha-ha!* :((

Here's my outfit today: