Birthday Blog

OMG! I missed a birthday blog this year. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Anyway, think it's still August. :)

I'm 31!!! My gosh! And yes, despite my not-so-baby fats, I FEEL FAB. I almost always do. I don't when I'm cooking Crispy Pata and the oil is splattering explosively on me and I get burns which turn into scars and I smell fried. Anyway, I get my reward after so I don't mind. Briane doesn't mind either. He still kisses me even when I look like the Crispy Pata itself. I hope he doesn't change. hehe..

There's a huge difference between being 29 and being 30. Funny because I didn't feel the same when
I was 28 and then when I turned 29. I guess it's the change of decade. Right now, I'm much more in a hurry. There's a lot of things I want to do with just very little time. I want to travel with Briane but that'd mean saving, which would take time. At the same time I want to have a kid because I'm 31 and my chance is getting slimmer by the minute. And we all know THAT needs the grandest preparation. Tsk. AAAHHHHHHH! PRESSURE!!!

Yes, I'm ready to be a mother.
I want to be a mother.
I think I will be a great mother.

So in conclusion: THE EARLY 30s ARE A BITCH!

Still, just like always, I don't have the right to whine. I'm probablyl one of the most blessed people in the world (Thank you God, You are the greatest). I am just being human. I feel the pressure. And I hate it. I guess, it's better than being numb and oblivious.

So in celebration of what could be the most stressful year of my life, here's a picture of my very stressed self:

mwuahahahahaha!

'Til my next birthday! xxx

It's Our First Anniversary!

Hello everyone! What's up? :0

This month, Briane and I celebrated our first year anniversary. People say, "time flies when you're having fun". It's true! I feel like we just laughed (and ate!) our way through our relationship. No kidding. I mean, we've had bad days, LQs, dramas, but at the end of it all, we just laughed (and then ate).

Briane is a natural comic and he said that one of his missions in life is to make me laugh. Exactly how you get a girl! ;) I, on the other hand.. Well, you know!



So, in between transferring to a new account, 2 jobless situations, and 2 hospitalizations, here we are, laughing (and eating!)

Anyway, I'd like to share with you pics from our anniv. I know.. "yawn", right? Well, it's a big deal for me because it's my first time to celebrate an anniversary with the person I'm in a relationship with.  The only other time was a long distance relationship, which really sucked then. Ok, so THAT, plus, you'll see that I am now bigger, rounder, fatter! Maybe, when you're happy you don't care about your figure anymore? NO. I am happy but I do still care about my figure AND health -- all the more now! It's just.. the party invites! Of course I can't say no - it's rude!

Ok, so here -- we had lunch at Tokyo Table. Food was really good except the sushis and sashimis and makis. Ironic that what's supposed to be their specialty isn't their best. I love jap food, and we chose to be there for that reason so it's kind of dissapointing for me. But all's well that ends well. The unlimited dessert! Oh...

who ate more??? ;)

we had to ask the waitress (who's very nice, btw), right?

Briane ate them all! I swear!

the resto. not a great pic quality - this is from a phone cam.

where's my wasabi???

ask me how many times did Briane go for another glass??? ASK ME! hehe..

i had to take a pic with the warrior

Briane's Miley Cyrus look! hahahahhahahaha

full and happier!

Then we headed to Mr. A, at Lower Busay to "chill". It's one of my favorite places in Cebu. The view's just awesome. Their coffee mixes and cakes are not bad as well. Well, too sweet for Briane's taste. We've been there a few times but for that night, we had beers and Crispy Pata. If you wanna go there, bring jackets as it gets cold at night.

we were their first guests!

and you have this for free

dating tip 1: put your phone down! haha

look what we did.....

look what HE did! hahahaha

I love the flavored beer (lemon). Briane went light - he has to drive

we couldn't grin more!

"The truth is sometimes things aren't exactly what you always imagined... they're even better!" One of my faves from the movie What A Girl Wants. I have always imagined what it's like to find someone you can really have fun with, and at the same time, you can really trust during the hard days.. and now, it's all happening.. and it's better! I am one very lucky woman!

Lastly, I want to share what Briane has to say..

Here's to forever! ♥♥♥

Thanks for reading you guys! And thank you for all your messages! And as you can see, I'm ok. And if I'm not, you'd know. I just don't have much time for blogging anymore. But this is hopefully a start.
xxx

L4, L5

A month ago, around the same time, same Monday morning, I woke up and a nightmare began. I couldn't get up. I felt extreme pain on my lower back. I pretty much have a high pain tolerance (I have tattoos) so by "extreme" I really meant EXTREME! My tears would just fell on their own. I was rushed to the hospital and stayed there for a week. I had to undergo rehab. Oh gosh.. I thought I was going to be on a wheelchair for the rest of my life. Worst, I thought I was going to die, and I didn't (and still don't) want to.

I had Herniated Disc (L4, L5). I admit, while my doctors were explaining their diagnosis, I wasn't listening. Yeah, I'm stupid that way. Tsk. All I cared about was if I can still walk. And yes, on the third day, I was up and walking again, though very slowly. I almost couldn't contain my happiness but I had to because my therapists (Hi Eula! Hi Chubs!) were there, I was shy. Yikes! Haha!

Here are my pics at the hospital:


I had to be hooked to this monstrosity for most of my stay at the hospital.



Maybe a little too early for the "in sickness and in health" part of our relationship but this might be a start - my uyab was with me through it all. Thanks Bri! I love you so much! ♥

Naturally, I was advised by my doctors to lose weight as my gaining has A LOT to do with the bulging of my disc. My therapists taught me proper body mechanics - I need to improve my posture. I now have to always sit erect. I can't do running for a while. I have to move "gracefully" which would be very difficult for I am way far from being graceful. Man.. In other words, I HAVE TO CHANGE MY LIFESTYLE!!!

And slowly, I am. For the past month, I already lost 5 lbs. It's a start!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank my doctors, nurses, and PTs at Chong Hua Hospital, my friends who texted/called/visited (special thanks to the ff: Therese Marie Cañete, Vanessa Rhea Labesig, Marie Grace Malanog, and my housemate Douey Joy Cagud - Girls, I OWE YOU.), my FAMILY, and my uyab, Briane. Lord, thank You. You truly are the most awesome!

There's a lot of articles about Herniated/Slipped Disc online. I recommend reading it here for those who don't know anything about it.

Guys, take care of yourselves. Health is indeed wealth!

Thanks to those who emailed me! I'M STILL ALIVE! May God bless you all! xxx

2013 RECAP

describe 2013:
My kuya got married at 38!
I became top 1 agent after 8 years, which is more of a joke than an achievement! It felt soooo good. I and my colleagues had a good laugh! hahahaha
I became close to Douey Joy Cagud and Vanessa Rhea Labesig.
Paul Walker died.
Anderson Silva lost his belt.
Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom broke up.
I am in love and I never saw it coming! Surprise! ♥♥♥

Here are few of my outfit posts this year. All of my outfit posts are here.

happiest moment:
My 30th birthday! You can read my 30th birthday thoughts here and you can view some of the pics here. Gogogo! Ü

saddest moment:
CHRISTMAS - Although it wasn't bad at all, my family wasn't complete, so there.. :(

most memorable person:
Rafael Nadal - He finished the year back at the top and I couldn't be more proud!

still believe that:
Nothing is impossible with God - this has always been my belief. 

stopped:
holding back when it comes to love and now i'm happier - happiest even (purya buyag)!

fave place to chill:
Jollibee Panagdait branch, EMTER 4 (my brother's apartment bldg.), Krispy Kreme IT, IT Park, and as of late, our apartment.

frequent companion:
my younger brothers (which is always a happy moment for me!), van and douey, and my super duper love Briane ♥!

best Month:
my birthday month - AUGUST

Best Movie:
The Croods - It reminded me that I had the best Papa in the world!

Worst Movie:
White House Down - It made the POTUS a joke.

Best TV program:
UFC, Gandang-Gabi Vice

Worst TV program:
Jersey Shore

Best book:
It's an old book but I read Paradise by Judith Mcnaught late this year (4th time) and fell in love with it over again..

Newest Idol/s:
Atom Araullo

Best Purchase:
My running shoes - it's the start of a healthier me!

Worst Purchase:
Aldo boots - because it didn't last a year and it's pricey.

Best Place you have been:
Savory Chicken (A Resto) - I was with BF and I was happy that day.. :)

Worst Place:
Aurora - it's sad that my hometown has now become my worst place. It's where my Papa was murdered. The place brings back that memory.

Best Decision you Made:
I broke up with my ex-bf. I wrote about it here.

greatest frustration:
My family and I couldn't celebrate Christmas together.

Worst Decision:
 Harvest my Smurfsville Crops while in Colon and got my phone snatched. It was so traumatic. I was with Therese.

greatest gift:
FAMILY and BF

hardest decision:
Dec. 1, 2013 - I had to decide to whether or not give someone a chance. And I did.

song of the year:
Wrecking Ball - It's so raw and it made me cry.. :( I had the same feeling when I first listened to "We Belong Together" by Mariah Carey years ago.

best 5 pesos:
Pan de Sal sa Pan de Manila

best 3 hours:
First shopping date with BF - he bought a Polo Shirt at Folded&Hung. I felt closer to him after that.

bands I saw for the first time:
Rico Blanco and his band - His voice is unbelievable! You have to see and listen to him live.

best day in make up:
My Kuya's wedding - foundation and all. I thought I looked pretty. Kudos to the make-up artists!

what I learn about myself:
What I have been through over the past 30 years has made me trust God even more. I am older, and wiser.. really!

Happy New Year!!! I hope you guys are having a blast right now! xxx

Destiny (What Is?)

What exactly is destiny?

I have always believed that no one can control destiny. You know, like you just do what you've always been doing, then something happens - that's destiny!

or is it???? 

I watched My Sassy Girl (American Version) last weekend and it got me into thinking. In that movie, the old man said that molding destiny itself is destiny. Is it? Do we always need to do something for something? Isn't it that if it's meant for you, it's meant for you?

Thoughts? Go comment! xxx

Here's hoping this is my destiny right here: ♥♥♥

 

Help My Countrymen

Please, you guys, if you can.. HELP! xxx

 

Two Years Ago..

Two years ago, my Father was shot 5 times, the most fatal was in the head. He died shortly after. That was the darkest day of my life. Everything's never the same.

 

I pray and I believe that someday, JUSTICE will be served.
 

 

Papa, no man can ever top you in my heart. I miss you so much.

10.15.2013 (Cebu Earthquake)

At around 8 AM yesterday a magnitude-7.1 earthquake hit my beloved city, Cebu. And it was really traumatic. I was at work, under my station. Apparently, it lasted a minute but it seemed like forever and in my mind I was like, "this will soon stop, this will soon stop" and when it didn't, I just surrendered and prayed. I honestly thought I was gonna die. But then it stopped. And then we all ran out of our builing, to Cartzone. I remember calling my friends' names to check if we're all together. And we were.

I was clasping my phone hard. I needed it to call my loved ones, to find out if they're ok. And they were, except my younger brother Kab. I couldn't reach him! You see, he also lives in the city and few minutes before the earthquake we were still messaging each other so naturally I was worried sick! It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I broke down in the taxi, the driver tried consoling me, which I really appreciate. But nothing could make me feel better. I went to his apartment, he's not there. I roamed around IT Park crying. It was hell. And then, someone called, "Nang!" It had to be my brother. And it was. And I cried again. Finally, and I know this might sound selfish but to hell with everything, my brother was safe and whole and it was all that mattered.

The whole afternoon I was with my super friends Douey Joy and Vanessa Rhea, with Yaggi, Van's pet. We were jumpy because of the aftershocks and also probably because we were watching Prison Break Season 2. But despite that, I was able to take pics of me and Yaggi. I am not into pets (or animals) and I haven't been this near to an animal before (but of course I don't hate them, I just don't like the smell) so this, right here is really a photo op. I thought, the world might end today, I need to do something I haven't done before. Plus, Yaggi just took a bath so there..

Right now, there's still aftershock every few minutes. They say it will last for about 3 days. I don't know. But I will pray, always, for my loved ones, and for my country. May God bless the Philippines..

Below are pics of my room. I haven't checked if my keyboard's ok. Kiver na!

I was exhausted, stressed, and hungry. I felt like I just came from war. So I ate a lot at dinner. We went to Yu-Yu-Tei at the Gallery. Food's ok, not amazing. 

I went home, talked to bf (for a much needed loving feeling), and prayed for safety.

Just like everybody else, I woke up every aftershock. Here's hoping today will be better. Take care you guys! xxx

*read about the earthquake - BE AWARE*
http://edition.cnn.com/2013/10/14/world/asia/philippines-earthquake/index.html?hpt=hp_inthenews

Story Of My Hair

Hey guys! Did curling irons exist 5 years ago? I don't know, but I just bought one and it's amazing! Before, it would take 8 hours to curl my hair. Now, 15 mins and I'm all set! I don't even need to put on hairspray! TECHNOLOGY HAPPENED, thank goodness!

*you can click on pic for larger view*

I haven't forgotten you guys (of course not)! I don't know what to write these past few days. I don't have outfit pics. I have been busy with life. Plus, the boyfriend was here the whole week last week so you can just imagine me all giddy and happy! Hahaha!

Hopefully next week, my life will be in its normal order.
Hopefully, I'll have outfit pics.
Hopefully, I'll have idea puke.

And then you'll be be sick of me - I hope not!

PS: Below are pictures of my natural hair. I'd like to think it's like Carrie Bradshaw's but that'd be like shooting the moon! Hahaha! I've always had my hair rebonded/straightened eversince I could remember and the reason why I do is straight hair's easier to manage. Curly hair means wax, anti-frizz serum, leave-on conditioner, etc. - and that's way too hassle for lazy me. Ü

brace-face - spell AWKWARD!



with my girlfriends - my "roman era" look - was so pale!

Take care you guys! xxx

Something Calm.. ♥♥♥

Hello guys! You know how we always talk about the person who makes us laugh/smile/giddy/giggly - and everything else that would somehow transpire to that silly look on our faces? That person who brings butterflies in our tummies? I'm just thinking, how about that person who makes us feel relaxed, and calm, and just our plain old selves - no hassle, no fuss? Doesn't he/she deserve to be talked about too??? I'm just saying.. ♥♥♥

*not my photo*

Have a good one! xxx

Love Or Fab?

In the spirit of being true, I am going to write about love. Which absolutely doesn't make sense, I know! Ha-ha!

I have been single for almost 5 months now and yes, I can say that I am loving it. I mean, I've totally forgotten how vast the opportunities and choices a single woman has! No wonder I stayed single for 4 years after breaking up with my exboyfriend before my most recent! I am having the time of my life! Dang! But with recent developments in the love department of my life (geeeez..), I am torn: Love or Fab?

Should I choose to stay single and live fabulously free (which seem to be the more suitable lifestyle for me)? Or should I risk it all again with someone, only to find out that it's just going to be another love gone awry? Eeeeekkk!

For a woman who's tired of break ups (after having more than 5 of them - let's not just go to specifics here.. Hahaha!), how would I know if someone is "THE ONE"?

Am I even ever destined to have someone to be with for the rest of my life?

I've recently broken up with a non-boyfriend, if you know what I mean. And I'm gonna lay out my heart here - I MISS HIM. I care about him so much, I had to protect him from getting hurt. I know I am not yet ready to be in a relationship again so I had to say goodbye.

Or was he just the wrong person?

So many questions, so little me. Oh well.. I guess life is full of questions. And sometimes you have to wait a lifetime for the answers. I just hope mine won't take that long.. Ü

Godspeed! xxx

What Do They Really think?

Do you guys ever wonder what people think of you?

I realize that one form of injustice is when people think negatively of you without even knowing you and what you actually think. And why do they care? And if they care so much, why do they settle on theories instead of facts?

I just don't understand, and you know, I'm not even going to try coz there's absolutely no point. It's just frustrating. I mean, what could be more unjust than that? But just like a lot of things in this world, it's beyond our control, we can't stop it. So in the end, it's best to just ignore it.

I am one of those who don't care about what other people think about me. I am a free spirit and I believe that I can do whatever I want as long as I'm not hurting other people or the environment. But, what do other people really think about me? Hmmm... Bite me!

Happy weekend! xxx
 

I Have You

So I was reminded that I actually used to write poems. I haven't since this poem below. The poet in me has gone awry. And I wasn't even great! Ha-ha!
Written: September 21, 2007 - 12:02 pm

My heater's now working, my closet door's closed
The ceiling dust's gone and you fixed my windows
I look at the floor, it is shiny
I see beautiful things, now that you're here with me

Those "hi's and hellos" I used to ignore
I smile at them  since you walked to my door
And that rug that's hanging on my terrace
It has a little red flower embroidery, I just notice

My jeans are there, neatly pressed
That shoes i just bought, matches my dress
I turn around I see my colorful belts
Then I look at the mirror, I see my beautiful self

And in my messy bed, there you lie in silence
With my colorful pillows and blanket
All things are bright and beautiful, you see
 But you're the most beautiful for me.. 

Unbreak My Heart

..because it's broken..

I'm sad and I will cry later or the next day. I don't know. Can you believe I haven't? But I will be ok. Ako pa? As they say, "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". It was worth my time because I learned a lot.

I wish my ex-boyfriend well.

So, thoughts.. Probably God gave us to each other to prepare us for someone else. The relationship made me realize a lot of things, one of them's 'love is not enough'. We loved each other but we don't get each other most of the time, unknowingly causing each other pain. I honestly saw this coming. I'm really disappointed of how wrongly we interpret each other's gestures. Our differences really got in the way so the break-up was really for the best. It just gets tiring after a certain time. Needless to say, I don't believe in "opposites attract" anymore! I realize now that all I need is someone who will really know and understand me, because I am not a bad person.

So, gogogo! On to life!

*I'm accepting "broken-hearted" gifts! CALLING FAMILY AND FRIENDS! Ha-ha!* :((

Here's my outfit today:

3 . 7 . 2013

Yeah, it was too bad of a day that I had to make the date the title.

First, a cop caught me and my friend Therese Marie Cañete jaywalking. It's no fun being caught but the whole experience was. I posted this on FB and my ex-boyfriend commented that he's surprised it's my first time to get caught. Rude much? No. I am such a careless person, anyone would be. Here's my ticket:

Second, and I don't mean this entry to be dark, but I was robbed yesterday. He got my phone. There was struggling and Therese in fact kicked the robber but in the end I realized, it's not worth my life and my friend's. I mean, what if the robber had someone with him who has gun? There's too much murder in my family, I don't think they can take one more.

Once again, I realize that life is so short, anything can absolutely happen. So let's love, laugh and live! Be happy! xxx

Age Is Just A Number...NOT!

I was a party animal when I was younger. I can go on days with just 2 hours sleep. I drank a lot, I smoked (this I'm not proud at all). I was a college student away from home, in the city, with my sorority sisters. I LIVED THE LIFE.

I'd like to think that I am over it but not really. Because now my body can't take all of those partying anymore. I know if I could, I would.

I am 29 and I look younger than my age so yes, I was one of those who believed that age is just a number, but I realize now that it's not. Because age comes with decaying body. I get tired easily now, my metabolism is so slow, I'm not that agile anymore, although the latter has probably something to do with my being F-A-T! Plus, I have backaches, cramps, and the evil cellulite. Argh! I am not complaining. I mean, everyday I wake up and I thank God for it. And, the older I get, the wiser I become ( I believe! Ha-ha!). It's just, now I realize that AGE IS REAL.

And while I am definitely not pressured about getting married, I am kind of nervous about not having a kid anymore. And I want one (or two)! But right now I can't, because there's a lot of things I still want to do. There's a lot of places I still want to go. So I'm kind of running out of time. I wish I'm still 25. I AM OLD.

Thoughts? xxx

To Speak Or Not To Speak

My friend once jokingly told me to sometimes keep my opinions to myself because it would get me killed.We were actually just talking about a pair of shoes worn by someone at that time and in retrospect, it's funny but thinking about it now, she might be right.

 I am a very opinionated person and sometimes, people get hurt in the process. I don't do it to hurt others. I am just being honest. I am a believer of the "honesty is the best policy" mantra. I think that if everybody's only honest and not get offended by people who are honest, the world be a much better place to live.

My father was murdered and he's like me, or I'm like him. He has principles and always expresses his honest opinions. I guess that's why people love him. I guess that's why bad people hate him. Could his being like that be the reason for his murder? Only God knows but it'd be sad if it was.

So my question is, at which point should a person stop speaking her/his mind? Happy weekend guys! xxx

My Take On Ricky Lo's Interview With Anne Hathaway

I just knew about it like an hour ago. I read the whole interview text and here's what I have to say.

I agree to what other people are saying, that Ricky Lo could've asked questions about the whole movie production and not about the actress' weight loss and stuff like that. I think that, him asking those types of questions is corny. I myself would be constantly rolling my eyes in my thoughts.

Having said  all of that, I think that Anne Hathaway could've been nicer. I WOULD BE! If she's not in the mood for the interview, she could've just acted that she was. She's an actress after all! Besides, being tired or being not in the mood is not an excuse not to be nice. We always have to be, regardless of who we're talking to and what mood we're in. I'm all to being true to oneself and to what one is feeling but this is one of those rare moments when one needs to pretend to be nice. So now I'm thinking, maybe Anne Hathaway's really a bitch. What do you think?

Here's the vid:

I Have Everything

I have everything.

I have the best family. I have friends who're honest and true. I have a great relationship with my boyfriend despite our very different personalities. I have a job which pretty much pays for everything I want. I have 2 closets and a hamper full of clothes. I have 100+ pairs of shoes. I love music and I'd like to think that I am good at it. I am not stupid. I am not ugly. I am not poor.

Having said all of that, I think that I am the most pathetic person in this account. I don't have a sense of responsibility because because growing up, I didn't have to deal with any responsibility. I don't have ambition because I think I have everything already. I am not strong enough for major problems because growing up I didn't have any. I hate when my friends confide me something really serious and all I could say is "sorry" and I always have to rely on my thinking, not on my feeling, which sucks because sometimes, I end up being blunt. I am lazy. I'm a spender. I didn't finish school. I am very impatient.

Despite all of that, I am happy, contented, secure, and confident.
Do not mistake my being happy as being an ass. I am happy because everything in my life is ok.
Do not mistake my being contented as arrogance. I am contented because I honestly think I have everything I need.
Do not mistake my being confident as pride. I am confident because I am not stupid.
Do not mistake my being secure as narcism. I am secure because I have faith in God and because of that I have faith in myself.
Most of all, do not mistake my being opinionated as being righteous. I say things with conviction because I believe in them, but I am not saying I am right. I share my opinion so that other people can share theirs. Isn't that the point of conversation? So if my opinion is different from yours, it's not saying you're wrong and I'm right - IT'S NOT AN ATTACK AGAINST YOU. I AM NOT OUT TO ATTACK ANYBODY - I don't have time for that.
I guess what I'm saying is, just take me literally. When I say "I'm not ugly", it doesn't mean "I'm pretty". If I say "you're fat", I'm not saying I'm not. Ok?

I just feel the need to explain myself because I might have hurt other people too without me meaning it. So there.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading my blog - it now has almost 4k views!!!! Life is good! Let's all be positive! xxx

Anyway, right now I'm trending at # 5 in WIWT. This is the link. And here's the page pic:

Death

I knew it's inevitable even when I was as young as 10. Then, I used to imagine my parents and siblings being gone, and I would cry myself to sleep. I thought of it as like practice so that if it will happen, it wouldn't be as painful. I probably thought of every way a person could possibly die but I didn't think of murder at all. I never thought that one of my family would and could be murdered. 'Til this day, I still find it hard to believe that my father was - it's just way beyond everything worst in this world. I realize that sometimes things aren't exactly what you always imagined - they're even worse.

When I was in college, and my parents are in their 50s, I knew that death's coming. And I would imagine myself crying on the phone, telling my friends and my boyfriend at that time (I thought we'd end up in marriage- as always), and vice versa. I was afraid that it will come.

 

And then it came. It started when my dear friend Brenda Espinosa died. And then some of my colleagues lost their parents. And then there's my father's murder. And recently, my dear friend and mother of one of my closest friends in the world, Cita Malanog, died. It's sad.

So this is it. This is what I've been always been afraid of all my life. Death, it's here. I hope I'm strong enough for it.